Now, no, ATM Eric did not reply to Me, but I am sure about 10,000 other followers were sending him messages, so the chances he saw My lonely tweet are pretty slim, but it was just the principal of the thing, and it was a valid question.
Before getting into Impact itself let Me give you a quote from Dixie Carter that was replayed on the opening moments of Reaction that MY DVR happened to catch. "I am here to make history, no to repeat history." Again a fitting and timely quote since TNA Wrestling went from being a fairly innovative company to WCW circa 1998 in four days flat.
Yes, Virgina, there was wrestling on TNA Impact! , squeezed between a nice chunk of promos.
Now for those who don't know I was in Lakeland, Florida in 1987, for the first stop of the NWA Great American Bash, On Tour. (Yes, that's right NWA Great American Bash) And I have to say that the action I saw 20 plus years ago and later brodcast on NWA Florida Championship Wrestling (yeah that same FCW that Nexus and the rest of those WWE NXT hopefuls were pulled from) was a lot more exciting and innovative for their time than anything I saw on Thursday night. (The only simularity between the two events was that Ric Flair was at both of them).
After the opening promo between Mr. Anderson, RVD, Jeff Hardy and Eric Bischoff, to set the tone for the evening we were treated to a squash match between Robbie E. and Amazing Red. Really? One of the most innovative high flyers in TNA is delegated to being a mid card jobber? Well nothing new, crusierweights have always been pushed down low on the card under Bischoff's watch. You never saw Chris Jericho or Rey Mysterio become WCW World Heavyweight Champion, and they were never close in the Bischoff Era in that company.
What's next? Going to make all the masked wrestlers in TNA unmask?
Oh, wait! I guess that happened in a way since Kazarian passed the Suidice torch on to Kiyoshi.
The Shore is about the stupidest thing in TNA right now, and believe Me it is at the tail end of a list of very stupid things. At least when Dustin Runnels debued as Sevin everyone knew it was not going to work and it was an abortion right on the spot. I can't say I really want to watch a wannabe Zach Ryder doing an impression of a wannabe Jersey Shore cast member. (On the Zach Ryder note let's call him the Garden State Stink-EE). If Strauss and Treston care anything about the fans or the business they should break their contracts and leave. He can go back to Jersey Pro Wrestling and she can head back to CZW or ROH, where as individuals they still might have some relavence. No feud with Jay Lethal. If the plan is to put the X Division Title on this no-talent you might as well see if Doink the Clown and Kergan the Interrigator want shots at it next.
The next thing I have to ask is just what the hell crack pipe were you smoking when you decided to do a promo of ex-Katie Lea Burchill, Katarina Waters, as Winter a ghostly woman who apparently only Angelina Love can see? Did somene say, "Here, let me hit on that bitch, cause man I got a good idea. Why don't we have Katarina be a ghostly kind of figure, just like when the Warrior kept appearing as a specter to Hogan in WCW. Man that would be so cool! Ratings will go through the roof!"
(For all you who may not get that above I am sorry for being one of the five people who actually remember the Warrior's stint in WCW).
"Gee, what else could we rehash?", Kevin Sullivan ask after a bong hit from his perch in the Tree of Woe. Well of course, feuding color commentators. I mean it worked so well between Mike Tennay and Don West last year, let's do the same thing with Mike and Taz? I might have worked if: One it had any relevance, and Two they didn't go from between suspicious, to working well together, to suspicious, to working well together, to suspicious all in the course of the same match.
Mickie James debued. Snore. Her bouncing the fun bags around as she made her way to the ring when she wrestled in WWE is the only reason anyone cares about Mickie. Her finishing kick to Serita was so telegraphed that Hellen Keller could have seen it coming. Hey, Mickie! You're about nine months too late to come to TNA to start a serious career in women's wrestling. Just as Angelina Love and "Winter".
In case you think I have forgotten I am not mentioning the match between The Pope and A.J. Styles that Eric mandated that Fourtune could not interfere in, I haven't. It just isn't worth talking about, other than the fact that as far as action was concerned it was the high point of the night. It was another of those swerves that Hellen Keller could have seen a mile away. I mean I was as convinced that someone else would not interfere in that match as I was that Nick Dinsmore was Eric's real nephew, Eugene, that Jesse Barr was the long-lost Funk brother Jimmy Jack and that any of the Andersons (including Mr. Anderson) are actually related. (Yeah, yeah Olie and Gene are, but Arn, C.W. and Ken are not).
YW for that wayward plug, Asshole.
Seeing RVD and Sabu work together again was a treat, but altogether short lived. The shoving match after the mis-cue and the defeat by Beer Money may be the only part of intersting story-telling on all of Impact. An attempt to show cracks in the old ECW/EV.2 brotherhood is something no one has ever seen before. However it just comes off as so hard to believe that RVD could have pulled out a 12 gague and blown Sabu away and the fans still wouldn't buy it.
Then a heafty bong hit later Vince Russo says, "Hey, Eric, Eric. I got an idea. Man, I'm so stoned I can feel myself thinking."
"What is it, man?," Eric questions. "Like the New Blood and the Millionares Club?"
Oh, no of course not. How about a main event where the face is against all odds? Oh, yeah, vintage WWF Attitude Era stuff. A one armed Ken Anderson in an Ultimate X Match. As innovative as putting Hornswoggle and the Great Kali in a ladder match (Any guesses at to who would win? No because even with a ladder Hornswoggle still couldn't reach whatever was suspended above the ring.) The true innovation was that the main event was a squash match of the worst kind. At least when Stone Cold Steve Austin was in a no-win situation he always won.
I have to skip ahead to the end because I want to save My main point for last. As likely as Eminem and Elton John's duet, Easy E and the Nature Boy are leaving to go to the club together in a limo. There is, for some stange reason a camera filming inside the limo as well as outside. Huh??????? And suddenly Kurt Angle appears, bashing in the windows and basically ruffling Ric Flair's feathers. Could have worked. Maybe. IF JEFF JARRETT HAD BEEN IN THE LIMO TOO!
Finally back to the end of the main event, after clearing Fourtune from the ring Mr. Anderson is attacked from behind by Jeff Hardy. Other than in the opening promo, Jeff has nothing to add. No taunting Anderson while he is down and out, no telling the fans how great his is as the anti-Christ of pro-wrestling, nothing but getting into the faces of the fans at ringside and yelling at them as he is getting ready to make his exit.
ARE YOU PEOPLE FUCKING STUPID AS WELL AS SMOKING CRACK???!!!
Between Hogan, Bischoff, Taylor, Russo, Sullivan, Flair and whoever else is contributing to story development at TNA there has to be at least 100 years of experience in the business between you. You can't have a heel World Champion without letting him have free run of the mic. I said last week that it was going to be a make or break deal. Jeff Hardy has the company on his shoulders now, he's the champion, THE MAN, as Flair would say. He is the guy everyone wants to hear talk about himself and his evil deeds, not guys who are either retired from the business or non-wrestlers. If this is to be the pattern, of the silent Jeff Hardy adding nothing new as a heel other than just being a "bad guy" then TNA Wrestling has nowhere to go but down.
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